Its really nice to get the one who read from eye, convey same words to brain feel from heart, express via lips (in our case finger) and enjoy from sweet remembrance. Yes, this is truth and I do not think that you are such a conservative as well. I do not know your truth and the only truth is that you write email to me and those are only the one from which I can imagine you; which I can say is truth, is not it? I treat you with those feelings and words which you use. I do not think a lot but when people sit in front of me and talk with me it comes from heart and I express without hesitation. I do not know that whether people feel comfortable with me but this is only the truth that I do not hide with people not only you and my friends if there is anyone talking with me side by then I do tell him/her truth what comes in my tongue.
I do not know that whether you do believe me or not I present as I am; with people. Most of the people love my frankness and most not as well but less people said that they do not digest my behavior. Once say before two moths I met one girl of Philippine and she also asked me that how did her email address? I had met email address from Blog her blog was nice so I wish New Year 2009. Oh! I remember that it was New Year time when I begin emailing and we also used to email every day. I want to learn about Philippines and their lifestyle, education, family style ( hamro desh ma jasto daju bhai ma jhagada huncha kee hundaina, aansa banda ko kura huncha kee hundaina, boy and girls ko relation kasto huncha? Ko barema bujna ko lagi email garthe) how do they enjoy and pass time, such questions I was curious. Every day I used to ask and she too. We emailed for a month or more, there was nothing left to know, meanwhile when Valentine’s Day was the last time she said that somebody proposed her, and it was good news for me as she deserved it since long time, wow! I congratulate to her as well. After a week when she falls in love, busy in her collage assessment as well and her other program then the gap of emailing was so long. I mean that after she fall in love she stop emailing me. She emails me but not as was in those days. I do not want to think and feel bad in this case however I learned a lot about country, tradition, lifestyle, the way they spend vacation and so on….
In our daily life we meet a lots of joy we must not be opportunist; whole world will be in our favor and we can enjoy a lot…
Life is full of joy.
I am also suffered a lot and till now I got problem a lot most of the time but I feel that life is full of joy let’s joy. I remember one friends saying that he met in hotel he talk with me as he was impressed by my gossip with another friend. “If you laugh the whole world will laugh with you if you weep, you weep alone.” Don’t you feel this is the sweet truth in front of us? I feel it is. I want to see everyone surrounding me should be happy and joy whenever they are. In my presence there is no problem as whatever happens they will share with me, immediately I can feel it.
I heard about Tapoban as well which is aashram of Osho, I was once regular visitor of Saturday. I love meditating and celebrating (in celebration I love dancing and crawing, I crawl in a loud voice, kill my anger and pain after half and hour relax, then meditation for 15 minutes finally at Sujata Kitchen Prasad at last all the follower of osho in a same minibus (its free of cost up to Bypass) whole bus used to sing hindi songs and bhajan as well. I never miss that moment to celebrate. After I came for higher studies in Kathmandu I was alone so, I used to play flute that was given by mama. I still remember that mama and me used to play flute till 10 at night and he had purchased me one flute as well and it costs 500 to 600 I was so happy to get and every evening I used to play flute alone. I love being alone as well. Once I went to Swoyambu in bare foot to enjoy. To feel. I feel really happy that I enjoyed those moments a lot. I used to go expenses café of Kingsway to learn how to eat and the new and different dishes. For it I collect money, once I go I eat new dish, and pay for it stay for a hour see outside of glass. And again same. I learn this from Judge uncle (when he was at charikot he teach me to learn new things like this) he always said me that to learn things first off all avoid everything inside you. Just give priority to your curiosity, do not feel shy. You will reach more ahead. I did that I still remember that father give me 2000 rs when I first came Kathmandu. That was a lots of amount for me. This idea was also of judge uncle. He suggest me to seek collages in Kathmandu. First off all get the names of collages and list it out, then go to one relatives home and ring to all collages, gather information and where you feel comfortable join it. Then you will learn how to live life being Suraj, now you are staying here with the name of your father but when you go to Kathmandu you start feeling what the life is and the difficulty to live being Suraj, and how hard it is to make self prestige.
He was absolutely right. It is not easy to be but not hard as well. I am trying to be. And learning as well. One day it will obviously be. He was too much happy when I shared I get the job. And last time I ring him and said that I get job in finance and purchased bike there was a good compliment for me. He was too much happy to know it. I am sorry and feel guilty that I am not able to go and meet him. I still remember that when I read poem in a competition program he used to call me and give suggest me to continue. I was famous in charikot as a poet. People used to say me Kabi Bhai. I used to write a poem whenever it comes. Even in the bank of river, in the middle of street, temple. I used to walk alone. Wear different dress then others. We used to go collage via bus but in the cold season also I used to walk alone in the dawn. I used to get noticed. In a debate competition also I was noticed by my logics. All laugh as well and they had a expectation that I will win the prize… but just concolation prize only I get. But I was happy with it. I used to sit alone in class sometime I used to stand for a whole period and take a class. I liked one elder class’s girl as well but she said me that ‘Suraj you are late” it was the first time I proposed some girl. Then I wrote one poem that was from Bimal dai. When my friend see that poem they do not believe I wrote such a poem. Then I begin writing poem. Once I take a participation in the same year in poem competition and everyone was silent. And my public eye contact was nice they said and everyone do congrats me. As this I continue writing poem and publishing them as well. I used to read article of D.P Bhandari in sapthiak. There I found appropriate words and those words goes to my diary and I used to use those words to my poem or my story. It was how I begin writing. May be this is also the same thing I am repeating. At least I feel that I could write whenever I feel that I must write, I never keep my feelings in heart. I pour them either by poems or story or just feelings or sketch in white sheet. ….
More in next….