Yes, I thought to become a monk once in my teenage. I liked the wisdom of Buddha, I like peace. I used to spend hours in stupa. Wherever I go if there is monastery, than I used to lost there, because that gives me so much peace. It always gives me different feeling when I listen monks chanting mantra. The fragrance of incents. Peace and the revolving wheels. There is always smile in the face of monks. I feel they have big heart. Buddhist never try to publicise their religion. I think this is only religion where there are not many spiritual gurus. They follow one Rinpoche. Everyone have respect for him.
Like I said I brought up in poor family. I still remember we have to wait for a month to have wai-wai noodles or nice biscuit. that costs Rs 10 those days and nice biscuit costs Rs. 9. My sister me and my mom used to go once a month at retailer shop. We used to get credit and pay once a month still my dad’s salary was not that enough to cover all the expenses which is needed for rent, food, and my and sister’s school fees. I still remember my mom gave me Rs 2. as she also have not much than that in my birthday to give sweets to friends. In those days whoever have birthday they used to give chocolate to whole class. But I can’t distribute to all. There was lots of desire in me. Everyone does it’s human nature. I used to see all the difficulties what my parents are facing. If the stove is not working my dad used to fix it himself. I used to help him. I still remember we have to wait for a month to cook meat. Wait for dashin festival to wear new clothes. There is no tiffin. I never asked too. I wanted to write with chelpark pen and I asked someone who comes to my home I used to go with him and request to buy that pen for me. Once my grandfather gave me money I said no I want to buy that chocolate and he bought me Chocolate which cost Rs.20, which was big money in those days. Once my relative gave me money I said no buy me lid pencil He bought me lid pencil. I used to see other people are in nice and fashionable dress. They used to travel at the places where they want. I was the one who have to get permission from home. So, in a sense I was looking for freedom and liberty. I used to think my parents were too strict. They always force me to study. I was never good in studies. I am Pass grade student. Till now I am pass grade student. I decided that when I complete SLC I will definitely start working and earning money. So, when I was student only thing in my mind is once I pass SLC my parents can’t force me to stay at home. I completed my studies. I wanted to be a Mechanical Engineer, from childhood. Even I don’t know what that means but I wanted to be. But unfortunately I scored second division in SLC. So, I thought to study commerce. I joined local +2. In that time I started reading novels and philosophies. First book I read was ‘You can win’, than ‘Arresting god in Kathmandu‘. Than I read ‘Sikshya men kranti’. That totally changed my life. I was like mad boy for society. Everyone was saying he is mad he is mad. I was too onto Osho. So, I started writing stories, poems, and participating in competitions. I used to be unique. Because my thoughts, poems are so simple but different. I read most of the book from library, and government library I used to take books in my friends name as he used to work in the government office. Time went on I came to Kathmandu, struggle, no job. After 6 months son of college professor gave me one opportunity. That was my turning point. I used to walk 45 minute to an hour from patan to Dhalku. To save Rs. 12. I used to earn Rs. 1500 that time. Our accountant she used to give money partially Rs. 100-200 like that so I couldn’t save that money either. But I was dedicated to work not studies. I failed in Bachelors exam I have no words to tell parents so I did good at work. I started helping in charity work. I was still working with son of my professor. I always want to work with him, even if I go back to Nepal still I will work with him. We worked together. He trusted me in everything, we together worked really hard to run that charity organisation. I was in the field and he was in abroad as he got some work to complete. We both used to communicate via email. I used to have office in my bag, stamp, stapler, donation receipts, brochure, camera, pen and notepad. I used to support whoever I see in the street is needy, school children. I used to call one of the board member describe the situation make a note and take picture and support by providing food or any other help. I used to satisfy with what I was doing. I get pressure from my parents to think about my future. I thought to work 10-5 duty. I started to work in banking sector. I feel really bad we both were near to our destiny, we were doing really good, we were expanding our program, many people were getting involved in our organisation at that time I have to leave it. Which was so painful for me. Poverty is the main reason behind leaving that work. I feel guilty that I have to leave that job.Now at bank Good job, clean dress, good salary, happy, travelling different places. Than I started to fulfil my desires which was from my childhood.
One day my friend share me about abroad plan. I agreed him I made a approach myself, Facebook was there to communicate with whoever you want in the world. I talked with one guy from Scotland he helped me a lot. I did accordingly. I got visa no one believed that I will get visa because I was never serious guy. I am her in UK now. Completed my education. I did what I was thinking to do from my childhood, I buy what I wanted to buy. I visited those places where I wanted to go. I read those books which I wanted to. Bought clothes, shoes which I wanted to get.
Today, I look back myself and thank to my parents who taught me mannar, civilization, culture and respect. Wherever I am they are very confident about me. They know I won’t do anything wrong. That restriction and boundary in my childhood lead me towards success. Everything I do, I always miss my parents. Everyone have supported to build my career. Now, its my turn to give them in a return, we were happy from childhood, I never thought that we were poor or rich, because we were happy. Everyone, used to take our family as example. We do not spread our hands to other, neither they taught me to. Now, I think they were absolutely correct to give us that environment. In those days that was quality life, living in the city, updated of every new technologies, access of everything. What else. They provided us basic need food, shelter, clothes. It’s my childish nature to expect more than what I need.
From my personal experience You will get liberty one day, the way you wanted. Liberty which you will build yourself. I am monk, I am hindu, I have respect for people from every religion.You will fulfil your desires which were remaining from your childhood, that biscuit which you can’t buy for a year you will love to get each and everything from your own income, which you have earned. You feel proud to be yourself. You will love to live your life being yourself. It is my own experience. You will thank to your situation that day. Because if that situation was not in your life you won’t be in this situation; strong, motivated, who knows the value of pain, sorrow, love, hate and suffering.