Novice Thougt


Its time to modify the definition of my ambition. I have already lived almost half of my life. So what I am actually waiting for? Where are my those friends who miss me, message me invite me and gave me false hope of support? Someone waited me in Australia, some friends from Japan, even from USA. Even closer countries from UK like Belgium, Sweden, Norway, France, Lithuania, Portugal, friends from Israel. And everyone were close to me, even some of my friends gave me an idea to apply Qatar, Dubai as I have education of Uk. Everyone used to talk about happy life, good earning and better life. But, when I am ready, now most of the things seems miserable. Those hope from my friends turned into dream. One bad dream. Hope has turned into thunder, a big thunder, which has no meaning than destruction.

If I be honest I stop trusting myself. My expectation, belief, courage, desire, ambition were too cheap. It has no meaning than big talk while I share with other. It sounds good to listen but in reality even I can’t make that happen. A small clue will help me a lot to find the way of my success and I want to think higher. I love to make my own way and reach the destination. Even while I am composing this blog still thinking really big? One step in my life will lead me far ahead.

Life in UK begins with education and now it’s ending with money. In 4 years time, time has changed, I have spend thousands of hour in this country. In this thousand hour I have just earned thousands of Rupees. Those notes of thousand are valueless-comparing to my ambition. Ambition to raise the voice of society. Raise the voice of those people in Haiti, Russia, Europe, USA, Asian countries. Think higher, but not taller than your own height. I forget to be taller but thinking is still higher.

To write about myself is not easy. I myself feel I am too simple. And do I am still thinking that I can walk along with the dream of being admirable person! Do I still have a hope that I will raise voice of needy people (who are struggling even to afford enough food for the family), support to people of remote areas of Nepal. Work along with the project and show them the technique to be sustainable. Do I still carry my belief which I had shared proudly in front of classroom, with friends? How can I still carrying on same ambition? Its shame on me. I stepped back and thought myself, I am far away from my destination. My path to my destiny is totally different from where I could be or where I want to be. It is totally different. Now, its too late to turn back, or the path of money and the path of satisfaction is not related to each other. They are rivals in my life. I don’t know when I take this path of money. How and when did wealth related to my ambition? And this hope inside me still knocks me and whisper “There is always one chance in everyone’s life and you have not got even single take”. One foolish asking to another foolish mind. How long shall I walk with hope? 

And, I said to myself, “What a wonderful world.” Finally, I have decided to live this life. I will be witness of my own life. I will live my life in the way this world wanted me to live. I will still smile, be happy, make people happy, love everyone and give respect to everyone. There is no harm in loving everyone.

“One day you will stop telling lie, and start loving yourself. The day you will love yourself will start giving respect to others too. That day even you will say-what a wonderful world!!”

(Unedited)

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