A broken chair will always make noise once it is repaired. My life is broken chair but I am saving it with even a 1% chance of survival because the death is not what I am scared of. “It is not the vital monitor that pronounce death. It is doctor who gives up on his patient.” As long as doctor won’t give up, it shows that the patient is still alive.

fullsizeoutput_14c7Based on incidents, experiences, and knowledge, I have practice to build courage. We are aware that everyone have story and we think our problem is the worst one which other people can’t feel or understand. In fact problem does not exists.

This is the story of hospital. I was lying in the hospital bed for 16 hours, waiting for surgery. Such place where those sparrow, crow or flies will never see this emergency ward of hospital. The big corridor, patients lying in the bed with bottle of Saline, total silence, smell of cleaning products, empty stomach, rushing doctor and nurses. While nodding head-either right or left I can only see patient with hanging Saline, most of them keeping their hand either on stomach or in forehead, I don’t know why? I can’t do both because one hand was injured even can’t move that one whereas another was with siring, drip.  There is no timetable to fall asleep and wake up. The noise in every few minutes, phone ringing, or gossip between staff working in the hospital or nurses for regular follow-up won’t let proper sleep. Obviously it is not easy to wait 16 hours, counting every 5 minute to wait for the call. Remember bathroom is strictly not allowed.

I finally come to the decision in people’s life nothing happens, it’s us we create. It’s us we should blame that we are unable to think and make right decision. I would like to take myself as a stupid fellow. How to react? Who will be responsible after my any action? Off course me, off course I should be responsible, because I was the one to plough words.

Life will go on, there is no doubt, there is nothing best or better, and everything is awesome. Our need and dedication gives us happiness and we feel good after achieving it. I never judge whether I have understood clearly or not. But, always ready to grasp and tackle any difficult situation. We have to make some effort to attempt, to achieve it.  But without trying we will regret or feel sorry for the situation. Here are some examples and some effort;

  1. I have never thought that I would be able to come to abroad because I was weak student but smart in other extra curriculum activities. Mind that not in intellectual activities, talking with people, eating, making plans, travelling, it means good at useless things.
  2. I haven’t shared with parents regarding applying for abroad, because I was gambling my fate. Also, I tried to find out how is it possible to go abroad without paying full tuition fee. I didn’t feel like going to consultancy because I don’t want to pay them money. I googled and collected information’s, found one Nepali guy and with his help I achieved abroad plan.
  3. I was always in search of joy and happiness, or what kind of job I love, so I listed things which I wanted to do in my life, and roughly made a plan, some were like impossible but still I could achieve. Finally, I started working at charity organisation happy to be with those kids who were so lovely, assist with educational material or feeding twice a week.
  4. I was with my friends at Sundarijal, was enjoying there, I saw one lady standing on the edge of rock, I told her “Life is very beautiful, don’t stand on too edge, be careful.” Later on she shared with us she was there to commit suicide. She was suffered from domestic violence; her husband is officer in police force. She came back with us. Once she rang and shared she is living happy life. I don’t know now but that time she got her new life.
  5. I found guy from Nepal in Facebook from where I wanted to go to my dream country Scotland, Scotland national dress is Kilt and Scottish slang is probably best in the world. So that guy helped me a lot, even he talked to university. Off course I don’t have good grades in my student life.
  6. To hurt knowingly is not my piece of cake but, without doing anything still people will get hurt, slowly we will gain enemy. It does not make any difference but never forget to apologise this is wise deed.
  7. Financial matter always comes front, whoever is that, we always feel that is problem. It is unbelievable but once we start making a plan and exactly we can figure out where are we leading our life, write it down we our self will see the solution, those notes will give us solution. Off course it will. It sounds funny, but everything is funny here. Nothing is average or similar even check the pair of your shoes it is slightly different, check it; though that is made from same machine.
  8. It is never good to underestimate anyone, even we think that our mum won’t be able to use smartphone, let’s say I phone. I will give my example, I want my mum to get engaged bit more, and learn new things. It was not friendly with her for few weeks now she do not want to leave smartphone. Stop brainstorming. We never know what will happen but off course if we lead a path that will lead to destination.
  9. It was hard time while I first came to Kathmandu. By the time I was engaged in job, and more involved in travelling, friends gathering, and fun. There were plenty friends, if I have to reach Koteshwor from Baneshwor it takes an hour or more because on the way I meet people. There is always time for cup of tea with friend.
  10. After reaching abroad, I realised while I was in back home I was living life, that is so much luxury whereas, the facilities and liberty is which I am getting here. I knew and felt it’s only me no one else will make my life. I have to be independent. This will teach what life actually is.
  11. If you like something be honest and see how it works, do not pretend, hide or act. But need to have patience regarding this. Patience to listen, patient control your anger, patience for everything.
  12. I was rude, aggressive, and high tempered guy, but from each incident I updated. Everyone can do it but we are lazy and are not ready to practice or accept it.
  13. 
It is never late to start. Swami Dr. PrapannaCharya he died last year, he was in India working somewhere, in the age of 30 he realised he want to study, he started it and while he was 46 he is Doctor Prapannacharya. One German monk started learning Chinese while he was 90-year-old. Everyone was surprised he is 90-year-old what he will do by learning Chinese? And there are more than thousand signs in Chinese language? The monk answered, it’s never late to learn. I am learning for myself not for other it doesn’t make any difference whether I am 9 or 90-year-old.

I have to live today so tomorrow exists. This is my personal dogma. This is my set of belief, in summary I feel it. Among many I believe this it is my assertion. Which is helping to live with full of joy and love. There is ups and down in our life there is no doubt. I have faced and tackled debacle. I guess I will never know what will happen in a minute. I belong to the society. I belong to family, friends, and this universe too. Repeating philosophical words and being optimistic sometime tastes paranoid fantasy; thinking like a victim whilst displaying extreme, irrational distrust to others. At the same time my beliefs stench and directly or indirectly effect. It lasts for few seconds and band together and scares me of deportation. Isn’t that’s poetic? Talking about feelings is disaster, which sounds good in words. In reality set of beliefs, philosophy is for self-help that will hardly influence people. There is no doubt knowing or unknowingly everyone has set of philosophy which derives them. At least sharing stories, experiences and very little things makes me feel good. I never counted blog reader but there is no doubt I read my blog myself according to the situation. It is always written in different situations which has travelled with me in my life. There are very few blogs regarding prediction. I never tried to write biology and but effaced many thoughts which hurts other.

Love, respect and Peace.

 

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