When Time Slaps!

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Festival of Love


The pond is smelling,
dead air- speechlessness of tortoise;
Church bell
Priest Vedic mantra,
Monk’s chant,
The noise of Sankha
Ram Ram!!!!! Ram Ram!!

The wind howls through the tree,
The thunder screams
Shattered dream,
Broken heart
Rape of thought
Melody of Saxophone,
Pigeon plumage – clearing the ear
To listen the Silence!
Land with no Black coat
Butcher’s autopsy;
Owl-avoiding daylight
Dancing  colour of cloud!

The diamond don’t sparkle,
love looks arrogant
River stops to paint the bank
Tighten the violin string,
Melody of crow
assembly of Eagles
My love, you must be in deep sleep.

The smell of mud,
The message of clouds;
Sprouts of beans, whisper-I am alive!
Corps, frog and pond.
Lotus, Love and throne;
Tears in Crocodile’s eye.
Past, vast and penetrate.
Life like disentangle hair.

I am criminal
Carrying Death.
I am criminal – having love
I am criminal-Chaos of thoughts
Shedding tears,
Origin of Turmoil
Punish, I am criminal.
Empty castle in-will give justice
Romeo and Juliet have danced there.
The mantra of Compassionate Buddha is humming- ཨོཾ་མ་ཎི་པདྨེ་ཧཱུྂ༔ (Om mane padme hUm)

माया त अामाले दिनुभयाे
तिम्राे माया करारकाे माया
न त जारि मितिकाे ठेगान्
न त अन्त्य नै।

“I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.”
-Emly Bronte

Waverley Hotel in Edinburgh, Scotland’s clock is 5 minute earlier. I have heard that is because the traveller or anyone get things done in time, and downstairs there is train station so no one misses the train. We do things according to time. Now a days it is much more easier we have cellphone. We have wrist watch, we forget it and follow cellphone’s clock. Train timetable is always trouble, either I have to be in time or wait for next train. I hardly understand the meaning of time. Time will tell. Let’s wait for time and many more phrases are used and there are million saying regarding time.

“It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.”

  • J. R. R. Tolkien

There are many authors like Aldous Huxley, Charles Dickens, Anthony Burgess, Thomas Hardy, E. M. Forster, Emly Bronte. Everyone is such powerful authors in the history. Very few are familiar with them but it is recommended to read them.

“If I could I would always work in silence and obscurity, and let my efforts be known by their result.”

-Emly Bronte

Mahabharat says “ No man should set himself to any task depending upon the counsels of another, for the minds of two persons seldom agree in any particular act.”

It is hard to understand people. It is hard to accept challenge, it is hard to build patience, it is really hard to demoralise self. One word “Time” will teach and give a nice slap on your face. That time we won’t get time to return that slap. We are never ready to get such slap but we are happy to accept and give fake smile. In other word, there is no other option than accepting this. This is the time we stand still and have fake smile. Those philosophies, learnings, education, teaching and understanding won’t work. There are many assumptions, many ways to console. It is truth that any kids we meet we are always happy to give a smile. We have time for that which means we are still onto it and we love to be kid for a while and we play with them. We found our childhood there. We find our kids in them. We are still searching for same innocent love. We are still looking for care.

Train and telephone never waits. Train board in time as well as telephone buzz. It never waits; runs and buzz simultaneously. In a same way the situation which we create never are in our favour. The hardest thing for kids is to finish the homework. The hardest thing for lover is to make various types of love in every moment.

Team of Thoughts

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A broken chair will always make noise once it is repaired. My life is broken chair but I am saving it with even a 1% chance of survival because the death is not what I am scared of. “It is not the vital monitor that pronounce death. It is doctor who gives up on his patient.” As long as doctor won’t give up, it shows that the patient is still alive.

fullsizeoutput_14c7Based on incidents, experiences, and knowledge, I have practice to build courage. We are aware that everyone have story and we think our problem is the worst one which other people can’t feel or understand. In fact problem does not exists.

This is the story of hospital. I was lying in the hospital bed for 16 hours, waiting for surgery. Such place where those sparrow, crow or flies will never see this emergency ward of hospital. The big corridor, patients lying in the bed with bottle of Clyne, total silence, smell of cleaning products, empty stomach, rushing doctor and nurses. While nodding head-either right or left I can only see patient with hanging Clyne, most of them keeping their hand either on stomach or in forehead, I don’t know why? I can’t do both because one hand was injured even can’t move that one whereas another was with siring, Clyne bottle.  There is no timetable to fall asleep and wake up. The noise in every few minutes, phone ringing, or gossip between staff working in the hospital or nurses for regular follow-up won’t let proper sleep. Obviously it is not easy to wait 16 hours, counting every 5 minute to wait for the call. Remember bathroom is strictly not allowed.

I finally come to the decision in people’s life nothing happens, it’s us we create. It’s us we should blame that we are unable to think and make right decision. I would like to take myself as a stupid fellow. How to react? Who will be responsible after my any action? Off course me, off course I should be responsible, because I was the one to plough words.

Life will go on, there is no doubt, there is nothing best or better, and everything is awesome. Our need and dedication gives us happiness and we feel good after achieving it. I never judge whether I have understood clearly or not. But, always ready to grasp and tackle any difficult situation. We have to make some effort to attempt, to achieve it.  But without trying we will regret or feel sorry for the situation. Here are some examples and some effort;

  1. I have never thought that I would be able to come to abroad because I was weak student but smart in other extra curriculum activities. Mind that not in intellectual activities, talking with people, eating, making plans, travelling, it means good at useless things.
  2. I haven’t shared with parents regarding applying for abroad, because I was gambling my fate. Also, I tried to find out how is it possible to go abroad without paying full tuition fee. I didn’t feel like going to consultancy because I don’t want to pay them money. I googled and collected information’s, found one Nepali guy and with his help I achieved abroad plan.
  3. I was always in search of joy and happiness, or what kind of job I love, so I listed things which I wanted to do in my life, and roughly made a plan, some were like impossible but still I could achieve. Finally, I started working at charity organisation happy to be with those kids who were so lovely, assist with educational material or feeding twice a week.
  4. I was with my friends at Sundarijal, was enjoying there, I saw one lady standing on the edge of rock, I told her “Life is very beautiful, don’t stand on too edge, be careful.” Later on she shared with us she was there to commit suicide. She was suffered from domestic violence; her husband is officer in police force. She came back with us. Once she rang and shared she is living happy life. I don’t know now but that time she got her new life.
  5. I found guy from Nepal in Facebook from where I wanted to go to my dream country Scotland, Scotland national dress is Kilt and Scottish slang is probably best in the world. So that guy helped me a lot, even he talked to university. Off course I don’t have good grades in my student life.
  6. To hurt knowingly is not my piece of cake but, without doing anything still people will get hurt, slowly we will gain enemy. It does not make any difference but never forget to apologise this is wise deed.
  7. Financial matter always comes front, whoever is that, we always feel that is problem. It is unbelievable but once we start making a plan and exactly we can figure out where are we leading our life, write it down we our self will see the solution, those notes will give us solution. Off course it will. It sounds funny, but everything is funny here. Nothing is average or similar even check the pair of your shoes it is slightly different, check it; though that is made from same machine.
  8. It is never good to underestimate anyone, even we think that our mum won’t be able to use smartphone, let’s say I phone. I will give my example, I want my mum to get engaged bit more, and learn new things. It was not friendly with her for few weeks now she do not want to leave smartphone. Stop brainstorming. We never know what will happen but off course if we lead a path that will lead to destination.
  9. It was hard time while I first came to Kathmandu. By the time I was engaged in job, and more involved in travelling, friends gathering, and fun. There were plenty friends, if I have to reach Koteshwor from Baneshwor it takes an hour or more because on the way I meet people. There is always time for cup of tea with friend.
  10. After reaching abroad, I realised while I was in back home I was living life, that is so much luxury whereas, the facilities and liberty is which I am getting here. I knew and felt it’s only me no one else will make my life. I have to be independent. This will teach what life actually is.
  11. If you like something be honest and see how it works, do not pretend, hide or act. But need to have patience regarding this. Patience to listen, patient control your anger, patience for everything.
  12. I was rude, aggressive, and high tempered guy, but from each incident I updated. Everyone can do it but we are lazy and are not ready to practice or accept it.
It is never late to start. Swami Dr. PrapannaCharya he died last year, he was in India working somewhere, in the age of 30 he realised he want to study, he started it and while he was 46 he is Doctor Prapannacharya. One German monk started learning Chinese while he was 90-year-old. Everyone was surprised he is 90-year-old what he will do by learning Chinese? And there are more than thousand signs in Chinese language? The monk answered, it’s never late to learn. I am learning for myself not for other it doesn’t make any difference whether I am 9 or 90-year-old.

I have to live today so tomorrow exists. This is my personal dogma. This is my set of belief, in summary I feel it. Among many I believe this it is my assertion. Which is helping to live with full of joy and love. There is ups and down in our life there is no doubt. I have faced and tackled debacle. I guess I will never know what will happen in a minute. I belong to the society. I belong to family, friends, and this universe too. Repeating philosophical words and being optimistic sometime tastes paranoid fantasy; thinking like a victim whilst displaying extreme, irrational distrust to others. At the same time my beliefs stench and directly or indirectly effect. It lasts for few seconds and band together and scares me of deportation. Isn’t that’s poetic? Talking about feelings is disaster, which sounds good in words. In reality set of beliefs, philosophy is for self-help that will hardly influence people. There is no doubt knowing or unknowingly everyone has set of philosophy which derives them. At least sharing stories, experiences and very little things makes me feel good. I never counted blog reader but there is no doubt I read my blog myself according to the situation. It is always written in different situations which has travelled with me in my life. There are very few blogs regarding prediction. I never tried to write biology and but effaced many thoughts which hurts other.

Love, respect and Peace.


Election Fever

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Dear Voters,

My best wishes for the candidates from different parties and congratulations for all voters who are participating in Local election after 20 years holding on 14th may, 2017. I am not sure whether many candidate can have access to this blog or not but I cannot stop myself from sharing my thought regarding the election candidate of Kathmandu metropolitan city. I have been reading/watching interviews, article, news, clips in social media, mixed thoughts, criticism, inspiration regarding mayor candidates in Kathmandu city, Nepal. As a youth it is my responsibility to think about nation.

Today, being judgemental I have my vote to Rajnu Darshana. I have considered her as’

  1. Brigham Young – ‘ You educate a man ; you educate a man . You educate a woman ; You educategeneration.’ We have seen many experienced, educated and good political background candidate. Its us we should judge whom we want to taught. Or leave it for Rakshasic nature same face politicians. (Rakshasa does various sorts of harm and injury to others for their own selfishness)
  2. . She is representing whole nation. She  stood up to fulfill the pending task of Kathmandu Metropolitan city from decades and to heal the importance of “Metropolitan”. She is dreaming nation without carrying anyone’s philosophy (i.e Marxist, Guevara, Rousseau, Mao, B.P. Koirala, Ganeshman, any martyrs, or anyone) which in a sense also proves that she has hot blood of patriotism, which encourages many teenager to make platform rather than dreaming abroad.
  3. “Vote for the candidate who cares our interest.” But this time we should not forget the suffering and many problems which we are facing every moment while we are walking in the pavement of the city or any office. The hassel which we are facing is because there is leakage, leakage of system, coordination and management. We are not ready to accept this digital age. We care our interest, we want “MY” task to accomplish, we want “MY” house to be modern. We hardly dream “OUR” nation to lead. This is the right time to begin and accept the youth and female leadership.
  4. Capitalism is dynamic formation and destruction by self. Ranju Darshana is already far from all these dirty game instead of match fixing she is ready to work together, she do not have to fix the matrix between opposition parties or businessman. 

  5. Daily newspaper and television interview proves that she is coming with limited dream which can be fulfilled in her Mayor lifeline. Her words, opinion, and masterplan are not Subsistence-based, Feudalism, Capitalism, Communism or not even not Socialism. Her simple vision is to make our dream come true. Wow!! Kathmandu.
  6. Why, we are not ready to accept change? Are we still in the same early male-dominant society? Limited female are born in the world who dare to come in-front of the Nation. She is one of them. It is possible only if we be in her place and think that is my dream too, let’s be proud with Ranju Darshana’s step. We voted Anuradha Koirala for CNN hero, we voted Prashant Tamang for Indian Idol, we voted for Pushpa Basnet for CNN hero. It is true if we want we will make it. Let’s join our hand, let us give her platform to make our dream city.
  7. “This leaf cures cancer.”
    “Cut down all the trees, patent and synthesise that sucker.” This is what we were taught in the past. Let’s save the tree, let it spread and let’s many more youth engage in the development of the nation. We are looking for role model for our nation. We must address her courage, attitude, self-esteem, enthusiasm, her lively interest to build the nation. We have heard hours long speech, manifesto, constitution and 17,8-00 killed still 1,300 missing in the name of civil war in Nepal (1996-2006). Unfortunately, till today morning headline we are compelled to read news of corruption and different agreement which is unhealthy for the nation. Isn’t it is time to begin from youth? 

  8. Let’s not be mean to stand for Ranju Darshana, she stood to bring change in the nation, she is smart, have courage she could have easily gone abroad and settled her, she can easily engaged in job, she can be TV host, she can easily get any chance in the movie, she can be public speaker, or many more opportunities she could get. Leaving all the opportunities that could make her life much more easier she stood for the World. Knowing the hurdle, she stood to wipe tears of bereaved parents, and courage for youth.
  9. It is possible, as an example Sadiq Khan become mayor of London. Among all English candidate he won the election. Tomorrow Ranju Darshana will won the election. My best wishes is for Ranju Darshan. #VoteRanjuDarshan

My best wishes,

Train of Thought

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We all are aware about the history, we should feel the pain in everyone’s heart and how cruel people can be while they are forced to do some cruel act. It sounds so good and feels so good to kiss in chick, or just to drink cocktail sitting in the bar with dim light.

There is the big discussion and voice regarding “Women’s right around the world” many feminist writer wrote article regarding “Women’s rights equality”, “Feminist movement”, “Suffrage movement”, many “Women’s rights organizations” (also called feminist organizations) have formed many prototype ladies are in the society, Harriet Beecher Stowe the American author’s best-selling (in 1852) novel “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” who raised the voice regarding slavery. This novel touristed in America regarding antislavery movement. Emmeline Pankhurst founded the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSUP) raised voice regarding equal voting rights with men. Pankhurst even sit on chain hunger strike in UK, finally law was passed, unfortunately she died three weeks before her success. Portrait of Anne Frank house, story of her life while working at German occupation, at the age of 13 during second war while hiding on second world war 2 was sold more than 30 million copies, also has been translated into 67 languages. Simone de Beauvoir’s feminist philosophy “The Second Sex” analyzed the treatment and perception of women throughout history, Vatican put this into The index of Prohibited books. Rosalind Franklin’s is a British chemist and x-ray crystallography revealed the structure of the DNA. Cleopatra (69-30 BC) defended Roman Empire from expanding Egypt. Boudicca in 1st Century AD is inspirational leader of the Britons (ancient celtic people who lived in Great Britain from the Iron Age through the Roman and Sub-Roman periods).

There is many example of “maternal filicide” who deliberately kill their children. It is not common to kill own children either putting them in the microwave or killing and keeping them in the cardboard box. Megan Huntsman killed her six infant in ten year (1996-2006). China Arnold, of Dyton, OH the reason behind killing her three kids putting them in the microwave is argument with boyfriend regarding biological father of her child.

It’s been more than a ages still it’s normal to miss you. It is my habit to feel you that you are side by me in my difficulties or steps of success. Although you are not with me, I met different people every day, every moment. But your presence is something different, even the imagination that you are with me makes me feel so good, encourages to take decisions in difficult situations.

Three different layer of lipstick in her lips, another layers in her eyes, two layer, in a sense it was clearly glamorize. She was looking so gorgeous (better than Geneva watches) in a glance. Everything seeable were top branded except the transportation which we both wear travelling. She is same girl whom I bump with in the gym today. We both gave a look one sweet smile still we are stranger; I did not bother to build house of sand by falling on love with her. I do not know either she is prototype lady or Ideal girl.

After shaking her hand, she slimly nodded her right chick, I kissed in her right chick, I was rushing to catch another train, I got off from the metro. She was the one to remind me about that stop to catch my another train. I got off there. She could have easily let us flow our conversation because I was travelling for the first time in this city. I have already mentioned that I am tourist here. So, it’s clear, I don’t know which stop was that, neither I could understand the announcement made in metro.

Everyone meet new people in the pavement of the city, under the city lights, parks, or workplace, everywhere. There is nothing new to be surprised or to be excited.

During the day, while I was in the cafe my eyes catches the cellphone by the side of my table. It was wrong to look at someone’s personal gadget but anyone could easily identify what she was doing. She was not aware about it. I didn’t make any effort to read her phone conversation. She was sitting next to me (behind the sofa, which I was sitting). If it was not me some other person would do same. I saw text message “Please reply my dear daughter.” “Speak with me.” “What happened? What is the problem?” “I will do everything to see you happy.”

She keeps sending polite lines to her daughter but there was no response at all. And in 1-2 minute or may be less within a minute she composed and tried her best. As we all know we love to read previous conversation if someone doesn’t give any response. She was doing same. She begins to scroll the old messages and start reading last conversation with her daughter was a week ago. I could guess there was nothing her daughter mentioned. It was general and off course girls -“love you mama, ummaha :)” and chit chat..

No one could guess she was stressed or missing her daughter so badly with her appearance. Unless anyone should see wiping her eyes (pushing spectacles upwards to forehead.)

And, I said to myself “really? early in the morning this shit! And I was in the mood to enjoy my day off with my friends.

There is expectation, emotions, feelings, presence, we all have it. We all are aware about our own BIG TALKS, BIG WORDS. As if we are changing this world, even we don’t have time to look ourselves – observe for ten minute a day fly from one country to another and feelings for anyone. We have a solution for everything; everything what we bump into. It might be national issue, international issues, emotional matters, diplomatic talks, personal, even at workplace. Let’s step back and think it once vary rarely we have said “I have less knowledge about it,” or I am conveying this conversation without any trustable evidence. Interesting fact is knowing all this still we enjoy the conversation, gossip with friends cause the way of presentation also it sounds so realistic.

Every moment is totally new except our existence. We all are aware about this some of us accept it and have fun. Some of us love to create boundary in self.

Even that girl whom I met in the metro, I didn’t have enough time to kiss in her another chick. She turned her chick gently for another kiss, while I finished kissing on one side. Silly, Metro do not wait for our second kiss, so we don’t have enough time for another one. I did not bother that. We were strangers before and until next meeting.

Everyone have the story; each day we should be prepared to accept the story. It depends in our mood, if we want to keep or let it go. We cannot take everything together what we see, what we like. We have left many things behind till this phase of life.

We keep doing mistakes, similar mistake, but we even do not bother to look back and try to paint different layer in our life, set up paint program. Because we are always proud of what we have. We love to read new biography of successful person in the world but we never try to make our own life as the part of success. We, I, me, self is one of the powerful person and also enough to be an extraordinary in the world. Meanwhile, similar group of people, who have such vision will lead this society, county, country and finally world. Our strategy and vision leads us to success. Hence the reason many prototype lady, and feminist are needed in the society. Many of us are lingered in our own problems and we will never overcome from it because we do not dare to do it, but we always love to listen Hillary Speech, keen to know Hillary Clinton recent news, or sneaking where is Hillary Clinton Today. Let’s ask ourself where are we today? Where we will be tomorrow? Let’s keep everything aside and think for a while, point out what we can do, start from now someday we will be more powerful in the world like Angela Merkel.

Being optimist,

‪‪Wolfgang Schäuble‬, ‪European Union‬, ‪Europe‬‬

Dance with Zorba

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“Zorba The Greek” – Zorbas Greek – Greek Dance, many people are familiar with “Zorba”. The music “Zorba” which is not only awesome I can dance anywhere. Sometime I feel like dancing in the table while I hear this tune. The movie was made on 1964 (Zorba The Greek). The novel was written even before my dad was born, written by Nikos Kazantzakis which was published in 1946. Zorba is so life inspiring, and motivation character found in the novel. Let’s not judge how he was because some may find he is pervert. I feel that “I am Zorba”, so cool, funny and who loves to dance and drink. Who do not want to miss any moment to enjoy the life. He never had problem (he takes problem as part of life which is essential and resolved in anyway) or nothing is urgent in his life. The only urgency is to joy. He just knew how to enjoy his life without hurting or harming anyone. Let’s say Zorba and the nature women. 

There are many followers and inspiring people in the world. Some are inspired by Osho, J Krishnamurti, Vivekananda, Raman Maharshi, Ramakrishan, Mooji baba, Buddha, Krishna, Hindu philosophy, Christianity, even commercial Christianity, Jew philosophy, Muslim Philosophy, or may be the philosophy of Socrates. I cannot talk about the nature of any influenced personnel. Because I want them to enjoy the way I am enjoying with the dance of Zorba. Even many are influenced by Meera Bai’s poem written in 16th century, her devotion for Krishna is hidden; only in the poems written for Krishna; whom she never met.

I feel, we compromise a lot in our life and we say life is full of compromise and this is life. We have many complaint regarding faith, work, love, family, friends, appearance, attitude, scarcity or anything we always have something we are not happy with. Complaint always exists. My silly mind sometime says – it is one of the best example of compromise in love. I think we fall in love because we find many things which matches with each other, as well as we feel he/she will makes happy or fulfil desire. So all is about being happy either you or me whoever –  there is always some points of being happy with each other that is the reason we fall in love or we marry with someone. We do what we are happy with, we hardly or rarely agree to be together. I mean to say that should fully gives us pleasure in our life than only we agree. Otherwise there are plenty fish in the street we wouldn’t keep bargaining on each and finally happy with leftover. Similarly, we are always seeking to be happy which we never get. Because joy does not exists as a material which we could see or touch, there is deed which simultaneously is spreading happiness with our deed, here each moment is spreading seed of happiness. Like music makes us dance, smile, clap, sing or just listen it. It will be injustice if I forget to share Zorba dance and music. Here is the link of it.

Zorba the Greek

Zorba dance Birmingham, UK

Blues music makes me so relaxed and gives me some different vibes. I listen everything sometime North American music, (Eskimo Music Peru) “On the lounge”. Some selected Chinese music, sometime the Album art of Blues music makes me feel so cool. I listen music from the world which makes me lost in the music. I don’t want to judge what is there in the music but I feel so good, while playing flute I feel that I could know more about it and play in the street and gather many musicians so we all could play various instrument and people could enjoy.

Vipassana day 6 chanting by Goanka is another one which makes me feel cool, there is something, I am not talking about power or inspiration. I am talking about joy, which makes me jolly. B.B King and Norah Jones were the first artist which I bought 12 years ago and listened Blues for the first time. I love to be bathroom singer, not only bathroom singer, I sing while I am working, “The thrill is gone baby” By B.B King or “I talked my girl in the telephone, long distance” I even dont know whether this is song or not but I sing it sometime I make my own song.

zorbaZorba was similarly guy, I see him so cool and relaxed, friendly, who can take everything so easily. He love to dance in any mode of life. In the worst situation rather than worrying, better he drinks and dance and sleeps at night and on the other day he resolve the problem, but he never wastes his time just in worrying about the problem because he knows that god have send everything in the package just we need our patience to fit the right one at right place. That might be the one reason he is so calm and cool. Who always manages to dance even alone at home, he even manages to make other and himself dance at brothel.

While I revise myself, I find everything in me which helps and motivates me to face everything which comes in front of me. I feel myself like music of Kitaro – Silk Road, Buddhist chant (i.e Om Mane Padme Hum, mantra of Mantra Of Avalokiteshvara; Medicine Buddha Mantra), Hindu chants, music of Eskimos. It always gives me fear, suffering, pain, happiness, energy, motivation and I can find mysterious love in it. Hence, the reason I always feel I am empty so empty and if someone tries to fill me up its like pouring water in sand because none of the philosophy, music, novels, movies, celebrities, nature, experience, suffering is not able to fill me how can the world could paint me. I am not scared with colour of life but I want to keep this “ME” as “me” so someday either paint like Picasso or compose poems like Li Po “Canvas of My Life” I will hang it somewhere. I want myself to remain alive. Keep it alive I will be a witness of my own life and celebrate every moment of it. I respect to those people, lovers, whom left me, my sympathy whom I have suffered, my condolence whom I have broken so badly, thankful to everyone whom I have met during the journey of my life, there is no hard feeling with everyone, and won’t be in future. Everyone was part of my journey, I have still not reached my destination, many to come, many to see and face, I always believe happiness is journey not the destination so you all were in your journey too we met in the junction and are moving towards our own destination. I promise wherever I am I will always dance, celebrate, joy, fun and live my life.

“The universe is in an especially benevolent mood and frame of mind, and as a result, so is everyone else. What this means to you is that one and all will be in the same outgoing, positive frame of mind you’re almost always in. Sure, it’s nice, but it’s also convenient. You need to make a decision now — but with so many things in your favour, it’ll actually be almost impossible for you to make the wrong one. Lucky you.”


#Love #Respect #peace


Zorba the Greek (film) – Wikipedia

Zorba the Buddha

Sex | Psychology Today

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“Homosexuality” is very famous in the western world. Some of the countries are still  fighting for their right. The appropriate word for this topic is LGBT, Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. It is found that from 1930 people started to talk in public and got viral, though it took so long to legalise. Ancient Egyptian history based on hastily drawn image of homosexual as well as heterosexual sex. From Ramesside period it is found king Niuserre of fifth dynasty of Egyptian pharaohs, circa 2400 BC; gay based on a representation of them embracing nose-to-nose in their shared tomb. Based on middle kingdom story King Neferkare and General Sasenet has an intrigue plot of king’s clandestine gay affair with one of his generals.

China define homosexuality as the passions of the cut peach which is recorded from Han Dynasty approximately 600 BCE. Interesting part is, many Chinese literature were based on homosexuality from ancient time. Middle Eastern cultures took it commonly and many poetry was written on same-sex love. Even today I am remembering this topic. While I compose this blog I have to be in their place and feel it, than write it or I have to be in bank Bedand count the fish. I am in Dilemma. I am choosing difficult one. 

Moving around the world we can meet various category of people. Among them one mass of people which I met are too much onto on sex. I even have no idea that they are pathetically pervert or, there are more to see in this world. It may be the culture hence the reason they are dull on sexual civilisation. It is much more than this words could describe. I am away from their conversation because I have already crossed the path of imaginationary world. For me, it is so surprising because based on my experience talking about sex will be an interesting conversation and there will be discussion which is needed. While I was living in UK I have many friends whom we used to talk for hours and we used to talk about romance too. Table of 8-10 people, eating Turkish dish, Reki (Turkish strong alcohol) and the conversation after midnight because we finish our work at 11, night. We used to jump in the car and find the venue most of the night. Even there used to be equal participant of girls and boys. She used to drop me every night home because I am the last one to live bit far then other. So, we used to talk about sexual experience, funny moments, work time funny incidents like while counting the stock. Most of the stores in UK, is underground. I first time was scared it is like tunnel, I could feel the water in the wall, really cold looks like bunker of soldiers. It used to take an hour to count the stock. Not only that the freezer is on for 24/7 to cool the barrels of beer.

Turkish Reki was always good companion for us. We could just see the snow outside the window we could not feel any cold or wind at all the temperature is normal because of air condition. The fun starts from snowfall. We even don’t have to figure out what it means the laughter goes on and the funny incidents in car, store, bathroom, or in the club, pub or mostly in cemetery. While rolling the bottle game was going on, once the bottle faced towards and the question was “ have you ever had sex in the Church?” This was the question repeated again. It may be because I am from different country, and want to know about me. May be this is the reason I was never treated different, and I was the one who want to go to eat in the restaurant every night, but the problem is transportation. I need to change 3 bus and wait for long time. I hate night buses because of drunk people and waiting time is too long. So, better eat in the restaurant have a gossip, and someone will drop me home. This time was so hard for me, whether to tell the truth or tell lie. They know that there is no doubt in my case, but they want to listen my funny part of story. Most of the story I tell them sounds funny.

“Anybody wants lift home.” Birthday girl sister shouted from the back door of the restaurant. Everyone was so surprised she and her family have just left the restaurant after celebrating her sister’s birthday. And she came back to the restaurant? She is not drunk either.

“He will go, wait.” Everyone pointed me. I was funny, because the last task of restaurant is putting the chair back and I am so lazy to do that always find some other things to do. Today at the right time she made a call. “Sweetheart, do you want wine or whisky.” (The laughter goes on)

“You got the right guy today.” Boss said, (laughs).

In such way, every time is just laugh, laugh and laugh. The funniest thing happened while I came in this country. I was serving one table I just felt something is wrong. Later on I knew they are regular customer from 20 year and they are gay. Another coincidence is always next table customer have a baby. Off course they are noisy, and crying out loud. I saw them every weekend for 6 month every week next table is baby and crying making too much noise. “Do they have any difference if the kids are playing around them, making funny questions, speaking so nicely, having good voice and so innocent, does it makes any difference to them? Do they have any feelings or something?”

Back to the same topic, early in the morning this people talk about sex. They are too onto in search  of brothel. I have never heard any day they managed to find one. May be this is the reason one have already brought sex toy. This is strange OR straight world, people want to buy everything. Everything is so cheap. Hence the reason, LGBT has been spreading like religion, many people are trying to find satisfaction in it. People are so much suffered by trust, love, and expectation. Even brothel have made people much cheaper then they should actually are. There is no law or boundary to control. It is available in every flat, each colony and any city. We all know it but we never wanted to stop it. It will grow more but won’t stop.

I see many LGBT are happier and healthy then other couple here in this city. They got few calls, and social site bullying than other does, they got limited circle than other does, they have fewer but special friends then other does, they have more time than other have, they achieve what they have to than other, they manage to do what they have to do as they are not occupied in such problems like other do. They are LGBT who have limited love, limited friends, limited responsibility, but very lovely people in the world. Who have to face different behaviour for the first time. But they are also able in many things, many of them love playing games, Playstation VR (i.e. For Honor, Ubisoft) They just have to keep in imagination about having kids. They can just feel the stomach of pregnant lady but cant be pregnant. They have to be discriminated by uncivilised people. It is difficult task for them to find the date. They have to face prejudice or violence and hate, still they struggle in the society to be alive. They are tagged as third sex. But they don’t have brothel like we so called heterosexual people have opened.

Dancing Rain

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Let’s write something new. Let’s not talk about Anu. Let’s not talk about any philosopher. Also not about Painter or writer. Or let’s not talk about family, friend, wife, husband or boss. Let’s talk about something different. Something different which we like. It is different and really stupid. Stupid topic, silly topic. To find such topic is not only different it is hard or easy or it might be  challenging. Zhang Hang was Chinese statesman poet and inventor, but he wrote nice lines which might be suitable or might not be. 

Ah, the chaste beauty of this alluring woman!
She shines with flowery charms and blooming face.
She is unique among all her contemporaries.
She is without a peer among her comrades.
– Zhang Heng

I don’t want to talk about him because I don’t want to touch about such love which brings excitement and rhapsody which I think in this world is impossible without building ourselves. Because I always feel none of us have understood that love is something immortal which is not like coal which we burn, or like the water, like the game which we never knew who will win, even not the pleasure, also not like the chemistry, which generate something new after mixing with other element (very common is H2 + O2 =H20; which is so common).I don’t want to answer the product of love. It is something which we should understand unknowingly, without expressing, without touching, without seeing like blind people do.

I even didn’t felt like talking about poet today because there are several poets who are so much onto in the words which will let us fall in their words. I am just the reader not among those who have quality that they have several way of reading poem and easily analyse preposition, adverb or verb they could judge it word by word.

“O Friend! we are near you in friendship,
Wherever you set foot, we prostrate ourselves like earth
How is it permissible, in the religion of love,
That we should see your Creation and neglect to see You? “

Sometime I find myself in these words, I find myself in the pain, I find myself everywhere, I see myself in the paintings of Pablo Picasso because I don’t exist nowhere. It means I have not understood the life closely, love closely death closely and myself closely. Hence the reason, I still love the world because I have nothing to gain, and nothing loose. The level of stupidity has gone so ultimate long time ago. For the four year I was in mad in love, whom I have never seen, actually we both have not seen each other. Certain image comes to the mind, calm, cool and lovely enough and live in the imagination world, and could touch the air, breeze of love, ray of sunshine, colours of rainbow is part of stupidity which we love to do. None can disturb our imagination. We can imagine Meera, either Roman girl of 15ht century, Even the world can’t find her name still have her statue and painting is in the museum of Greece.

Kazakhstani dog tried to save drunken boss to take him off from the train, pushing, pulling, nudging, dragging, barking he put his all effort to save his master but unfortunately he died stuck by the train. The world remembers the dog but not the master who brought him up. Here is no paradox of thrift it is the the truth of what dog did was to save the life of another creature. Sometime I feel because might of all these reason Buddha left the world because he is too tired with himself. He have nothing to do tomorrow, and being silly I ask to myself why can’t he search everything from his home being with his family? On the other hand Socrate is another example, who is happy to drink poison, just to prove himself. But he left the word and he even don’t know whether it is proved or not. 

It is all people’s hobby, interest to make life more important in different way we can. I feel similar to romantic love story movie, heroin leave the hero and hero have good words to her, like

“I am sharing my experience in abroad. It might be offensive because it’s your life, I am not your boyfriend anymore. Ask to your classmate about life in USA, it’s not the way you are thinking, abroad is different. Better you must just focus on your career, none of us take life so simply (not practically though), you can think your life for yourself not how other people or friends are living. Because you don’t know what is the truth inside them or in their family. So, you take yourself as a world, and make a plan what will you do after reaching USA. Don’t think that you will celebrate or will go to Niagara falls, Victoria park or any parks, clubbing, pic of cocktails. You will get all those things while you are walking with life. The day will come. Make a plan first off all and listen everyone, but don’t forget you know what you want and why you are there for. Many people talks shit and that makes you frustrated, you will get good job don’t rush to work in the fast food restaurant and Indian grocery . US is full of opportunity. Get the job with the qualification which you have. There are plenty agencies and online jobs are available. Apply there. Which city and college you are going? Is everything arranged? ask how much is the rent, deposit and other expenses too. Ask are you living with room-share or flat share because later their might be problem if you have sharing room. Try to get one single room for yourself. You have broken me, my life let’s not go on that, but don’t broke yourself. Be strong and try not to trust anyone, keep distance with everyone. Pay college fee first off all, so that you can focus more on your studies. Don’t think about how to settle in USA but think that you want to be qualified first because once you have a qualification the world will welcome you, I mean you can easily settle anywhere. I don’t know but if you are in relationship talk to both sides, don’t do paper marriage just to bring him in US cause later on you don’t know what will happen, it’s so short time to trust him. If not, if you think you can handle talk to mum and get married and than process for everything. Get all things which you can’t get in US cause most of the daily using accessories are so cheap you can buy there. No need to get food that may cause problem in the US airport unless and until it has a mark. But in US airport security checking is so strict so it’s better not to be greedy and take food. You can get everything in US. Don’t be too much excited and don’t be too much frustrated, take it as a normal, focus of your parents and off course your dream to be registered doctor. Don’t get me wrong.  To get angry is human being nature. I am one of them , anyone will be like this not only me if they were in my situation. Now you will know the life I am sharing what I have learnt. By the time goes you know everything about abroad make sure you don’t rush. Be calm. Take care of yourself. Don’t trust anyone, eat in time, good luck.”

And this one dialogue of hero will be so much emotional and many people feel their similar story of their life. The movie makes silver jubilee or this scene goes repeatedly touching to everyone mind because they can listen their own feelings in this. The scripture knows what are so simple words to choose so every class of viewers would understood what the dialogue tries to give message. On the other side the heroin flies abroad and be happy with another hero. Still the story goes on, she never misses him but he miss her most of the time that brings tear in audience eyes. Even the hero doesn’t know what would have really happened, the story takes another twist, that again make audience happy, generates ego, selfishness, and revenge. Writers are so sensetive who have the quality to enter in every readers mind. There are some writers like Rezso Seress committed suicide after writing ‘Gloomy Sunday” such a beautiful Hungarian suicide song during second world war. Many have committed suicide, BBC have banned this song, because many people committed suicide. Kimitake Hiraoka, a actor, playwright, prologue Japanese author, The author of “The Painted Bird” a highly controversial story  during second world war unfortunately even he himself committed suicide in bath tub plastic wrapped bag in his head, some feminist writer like Virginia Woolf body was found dead after 3 weeks, and there are many more, I am not a writer, to even imagine such heavy task which is even hard to accomplish while sleeping.

I have already omitted Anu from my writings. So one character of my blogs are forced to die. Sometime, I feel I have murdered my character from my life whom I used to feel so lively and could see anyone in the street and give the same name. I have never done anything for anyone may be hence the reason, it is so painful to commit crime than to sacrifice. I never love violence, and wont be in future. That’s why sometime I feel life is like music we can try but it depends we can learn and try to make the melodious tune or just make silly noise.