When Time Slaps!

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Festival of Love


The pond is smelling,
dead air- speechlessness of tortoise;
Church bell
Priest Vedic mantra,
Monk’s chant,
The noise of Sankha
Ram Ram!!!!! Ram Ram!!

The wind howls through the tree,
The thunder screams
Shattered dream,
Broken heart
Rape of thought
Melody of Saxophone,
Pigeon plumage – clearing the ear
To listen the Silence!
Land with no Black coat
Butcher’s autopsy;
Owl-avoiding daylight
Dancing  colour of cloud!

The diamond don’t sparkle,
love looks arrogant
River stops to paint the bank
Tighten the violin string,
Melody of crow
assembly of Eagles
My love, you must be in deep sleep.

The smell of mud,
The message of clouds;
Sprouts of beans, whisper-I am alive!
Corps, frog and pond.
Lotus, Love and throne;
Tears in Crocodile’s eye.
Past, vast and penetrate.
Life like disentangle hair.

I am criminal
Carrying Death.
I am criminal – having love
I am criminal-Chaos of thoughts
Shedding tears,
Origin of Turmoil
Punish, I am criminal.
Empty castle in-will give justice
Romeo and Juliet have danced there.
The mantra of Compassionate Buddha is humming- ཨོཾ་མ་ཎི་པདྨེ་ཧཱུྂ༔ (Om mane padme hUm)

माया त अामाले दिनुभयाे
तिम्राे माया करारकाे माया
न त जारि मितिकाे ठेगान्
न त अन्त्य नै।

“I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.”
-Emly Bronte

Waverley Hotel in Edinburgh, Scotland’s clock is 5 minute earlier. I have heard that is because the traveller or anyone get things done in time, and downstairs there is train station so no one misses the train. We do things according to time. Now a days it is much more easier we have cellphone. We have wrist watch, we forget it and follow cellphone’s clock. Train timetable is always trouble, either I have to be in time or wait for next train. I hardly understand the meaning of time. Time will tell. Let’s wait for time and many more phrases are used and there are million saying regarding time.

“It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.”

  • J. R. R. Tolkien

There are many authors like Aldous Huxley, Charles Dickens, Anthony Burgess, Thomas Hardy, E. M. Forster, Emly Bronte. Everyone is such powerful authors in the history. Very few are familiar with them but it is recommended to read them.

“If I could I would always work in silence and obscurity, and let my efforts be known by their result.”

-Emly Bronte

Mahabharat says “ No man should set himself to any task depending upon the counsels of another, for the minds of two persons seldom agree in any particular act.”

It is hard to understand people. It is hard to accept challenge, it is hard to build patience, it is really hard to demoralise self. One word “Time” will teach and give a nice slap on your face. That time we won’t get time to return that slap. We are never ready to get such slap but we are happy to accept and give fake smile. In other word, there is no other option than accepting this. This is the time we stand still and have fake smile. Those philosophies, learnings, education, teaching and understanding won’t work. There are many assumptions, many ways to console. It is truth that any kids we meet we are always happy to give a smile. We have time for that which means we are still onto it and we love to be kid for a while and we play with them. We found our childhood there. We find our kids in them. We are still searching for same innocent love. We are still looking for care.

Train and telephone never waits. Train board in time as well as telephone buzz. It never waits; runs and buzz simultaneously. In a same way the situation which we create never are in our favour. The hardest thing for kids is to finish the homework. The hardest thing for lover is to make various types of love in every moment.

Team of Thoughts

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A broken chair will always make noise once it is repaired. My life is broken chair but I am saving it with even a 1% chance of survival because the death is not what I am scared of. “It is not the vital monitor that pronounce death. It is doctor who gives up on his patient.” As long as doctor won’t give up, it shows that the patient is still alive.

fullsizeoutput_14c7Based on incidents, experiences, and knowledge, I have practice to build courage. We are aware that everyone have story and we think our problem is the worst one which other people can’t feel or understand. In fact problem does not exists.

This is the story of hospital. I was lying in the hospital bed for 16 hours, waiting for surgery. Such place where those sparrow, crow or flies will never see this emergency ward of hospital. The big corridor, patients lying in the bed with bottle of Clyne, total silence, smell of cleaning products, empty stomach, rushing doctor and nurses. While nodding head-either right or left I can only see patient with hanging Clyne, most of them keeping their hand either on stomach or in forehead, I don’t know why? I can’t do both because one hand was injured even can’t move that one whereas another was with siring, Clyne bottle.  There is no timetable to fall asleep and wake up. The noise in every few minutes, phone ringing, or gossip between staff working in the hospital or nurses for regular follow-up won’t let proper sleep. Obviously it is not easy to wait 16 hours, counting every 5 minute to wait for the call. Remember bathroom is strictly not allowed.

I finally come to the decision in people’s life nothing happens, it’s us we create. It’s us we should blame that we are unable to think and make right decision. I would like to take myself as a stupid fellow. How to react? Who will be responsible after my any action? Off course me, off course I should be responsible, because I was the one to plough words.

Life will go on, there is no doubt, there is nothing best or better, and everything is awesome. Our need and dedication gives us happiness and we feel good after achieving it. I never judge whether I have understood clearly or not. But, always ready to grasp and tackle any difficult situation. We have to make some effort to attempt, to achieve it.  But without trying we will regret or feel sorry for the situation. Here are some examples and some effort;

  1. I have never thought that I would be able to come to abroad because I was weak student but smart in other extra curriculum activities. Mind that not in intellectual activities, talking with people, eating, making plans, travelling, it means good at useless things.
  2. I haven’t shared with parents regarding applying for abroad, because I was gambling my fate. Also, I tried to find out how is it possible to go abroad without paying full tuition fee. I didn’t feel like going to consultancy because I don’t want to pay them money. I googled and collected information’s, found one Nepali guy and with his help I achieved abroad plan.
  3. I was always in search of joy and happiness, or what kind of job I love, so I listed things which I wanted to do in my life, and roughly made a plan, some were like impossible but still I could achieve. Finally, I started working at charity organisation happy to be with those kids who were so lovely, assist with educational material or feeding twice a week.
  4. I was with my friends at Sundarijal, was enjoying there, I saw one lady standing on the edge of rock, I told her “Life is very beautiful, don’t stand on too edge, be careful.” Later on she shared with us she was there to commit suicide. She was suffered from domestic violence; her husband is officer in police force. She came back with us. Once she rang and shared she is living happy life. I don’t know now but that time she got her new life.
  5. I found guy from Nepal in Facebook from where I wanted to go to my dream country Scotland, Scotland national dress is Kilt and Scottish slang is probably best in the world. So that guy helped me a lot, even he talked to university. Off course I don’t have good grades in my student life.
  6. To hurt knowingly is not my piece of cake but, without doing anything still people will get hurt, slowly we will gain enemy. It does not make any difference but never forget to apologise this is wise deed.
  7. Financial matter always comes front, whoever is that, we always feel that is problem. It is unbelievable but once we start making a plan and exactly we can figure out where are we leading our life, write it down we our self will see the solution, those notes will give us solution. Off course it will. It sounds funny, but everything is funny here. Nothing is average or similar even check the pair of your shoes it is slightly different, check it; though that is made from same machine.
  8. It is never good to underestimate anyone, even we think that our mum won’t be able to use smartphone, let’s say I phone. I will give my example, I want my mum to get engaged bit more, and learn new things. It was not friendly with her for few weeks now she do not want to leave smartphone. Stop brainstorming. We never know what will happen but off course if we lead a path that will lead to destination.
  9. It was hard time while I first came to Kathmandu. By the time I was engaged in job, and more involved in travelling, friends gathering, and fun. There were plenty friends, if I have to reach Koteshwor from Baneshwor it takes an hour or more because on the way I meet people. There is always time for cup of tea with friend.
  10. After reaching abroad, I realised while I was in back home I was living life, that is so much luxury whereas, the facilities and liberty is which I am getting here. I knew and felt it’s only me no one else will make my life. I have to be independent. This will teach what life actually is.
  11. If you like something be honest and see how it works, do not pretend, hide or act. But need to have patience regarding this. Patience to listen, patient control your anger, patience for everything.
  12. I was rude, aggressive, and high tempered guy, but from each incident I updated. Everyone can do it but we are lazy and are not ready to practice or accept it.
It is never late to start. Swami Dr. PrapannaCharya he died last year, he was in India working somewhere, in the age of 30 he realised he want to study, he started it and while he was 46 he is Doctor Prapannacharya. One German monk started learning Chinese while he was 90-year-old. Everyone was surprised he is 90-year-old what he will do by learning Chinese? And there are more than thousand signs in Chinese language? The monk answered, it’s never late to learn. I am learning for myself not for other it doesn’t make any difference whether I am 9 or 90-year-old.

I have to live today so tomorrow exists. This is my personal dogma. This is my set of belief, in summary I feel it. Among many I believe this it is my assertion. Which is helping to live with full of joy and love. There is ups and down in our life there is no doubt. I have faced and tackled debacle. I guess I will never know what will happen in a minute. I belong to the society. I belong to family, friends, and this universe too. Repeating philosophical words and being optimistic sometime tastes paranoid fantasy; thinking like a victim whilst displaying extreme, irrational distrust to others. At the same time my beliefs stench and directly or indirectly effect. It lasts for few seconds and band together and scares me of deportation. Isn’t that’s poetic? Talking about feelings is disaster, which sounds good in words. In reality set of beliefs, philosophy is for self-help that will hardly influence people. There is no doubt knowing or unknowingly everyone has set of philosophy which derives them. At least sharing stories, experiences and very little things makes me feel good. I never counted blog reader but there is no doubt I read my blog myself according to the situation. It is always written in different situations which has travelled with me in my life. There are very few blogs regarding prediction. I never tried to write biology and but effaced many thoughts which hurts other.

Love, respect and Peace.


Sex | Psychology Today

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“Homosexuality” is very famous in the western world. Some of the countries are still  fighting for their right. The appropriate word for this topic is LGBT, Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. It is found that from 1930 people started to talk in public and got viral, though it took so long to legalise. Ancient Egyptian history based on hastily drawn image of homosexual as well as heterosexual sex. From Ramesside period it is found king Niuserre of fifth dynasty of Egyptian pharaohs, circa 2400 BC; gay based on a representation of them embracing nose-to-nose in their shared tomb. Based on middle kingdom story King Neferkare and General Sasenet has an intrigue plot of king’s clandestine gay affair with one of his generals.

China define homosexuality as the passions of the cut peach which is recorded from Han Dynasty approximately 600 BCE. Interesting part is, many Chinese literature were based on homosexuality from ancient time. Middle Eastern cultures took it commonly and many poetry was written on same-sex love. Even today I am remembering this topic. While I compose this blog I have to be in their place and feel it, than write it or I have to be in bank Bedand count the fish. I am in Dilemma. I am choosing difficult one. 

Moving around the world we can meet various category of people. Among them one mass of people which I met are too much onto on sex. I even have no idea that they are pathetically pervert or, there are more to see in this world. It may be the culture hence the reason they are dull on sexual civilisation. It is much more than this words could describe. I am away from their conversation because I have already crossed the path of imaginationary world. For me, it is so surprising because based on my experience talking about sex will be an interesting conversation and there will be discussion which is needed. While I was living in UK I have many friends whom we used to talk for hours and we used to talk about romance too. Table of 8-10 people, eating Turkish dish, Reki (Turkish strong alcohol) and the conversation after midnight because we finish our work at 11, night. We used to jump in the car and find the venue most of the night. Even there used to be equal participant of girls and boys. She used to drop me every night home because I am the last one to live bit far then other. So, we used to talk about sexual experience, funny moments, work time funny incidents like while counting the stock. Most of the stores in UK, is underground. I first time was scared it is like tunnel, I could feel the water in the wall, really cold looks like bunker of soldiers. It used to take an hour to count the stock. Not only that the freezer is on for 24/7 to cool the barrels of beer.

Turkish Reki was always good companion for us. We could just see the snow outside the window we could not feel any cold or wind at all the temperature is normal because of air condition. The fun starts from snowfall. We even don’t have to figure out what it means the laughter goes on and the funny incidents in car, store, bathroom, or in the club, pub or mostly in cemetery. While rolling the bottle game was going on, once the bottle faced towards and the question was “ have you ever had sex in the Church?” This was the question repeated again. It may be because I am from different country, and want to know about me. May be this is the reason I was never treated different, and I was the one who want to go to eat in the restaurant every night, but the problem is transportation. I need to change 3 bus and wait for long time. I hate night buses because of drunk people and waiting time is too long. So, better eat in the restaurant have a gossip, and someone will drop me home. This time was so hard for me, whether to tell the truth or tell lie. They know that there is no doubt in my case, but they want to listen my funny part of story. Most of the story I tell them sounds funny.

“Anybody wants lift home.” Birthday girl sister shouted from the back door of the restaurant. Everyone was so surprised she and her family have just left the restaurant after celebrating her sister’s birthday. And she came back to the restaurant? She is not drunk either.

“He will go, wait.” Everyone pointed me. I was funny, because the last task of restaurant is putting the chair back and I am so lazy to do that always find some other things to do. Today at the right time she made a call. “Sweetheart, do you want wine or whisky.” (The laughter goes on)

“You got the right guy today.” Boss said, (laughs).

In such way, every time is just laugh, laugh and laugh. The funniest thing happened while I came in this country. I was serving one table I just felt something is wrong. Later on I knew they are regular customer from 20 year and they are gay. Another coincidence is always next table customer have a baby. Off course they are noisy, and crying out loud. I saw them every weekend for 6 month every week next table is baby and crying making too much noise. “Do they have any difference if the kids are playing around them, making funny questions, speaking so nicely, having good voice and so innocent, does it makes any difference to them? Do they have any feelings or something?”

Back to the same topic, early in the morning this people talk about sex. They are too onto in search  of brothel. I have never heard any day they managed to find one. May be this is the reason one have already brought sex toy. This is strange OR straight world, people want to buy everything. Everything is so cheap. Hence the reason, LGBT has been spreading like religion, many people are trying to find satisfaction in it. People are so much suffered by trust, love, and expectation. Even brothel have made people much cheaper then they should actually are. There is no law or boundary to control. It is available in every flat, each colony and any city. We all know it but we never wanted to stop it. It will grow more but won’t stop.

I see many LGBT are happier and healthy then other couple here in this city. They got few calls, and social site bullying than other does, they got limited circle than other does, they have fewer but special friends then other does, they have more time than other have, they achieve what they have to than other, they manage to do what they have to do as they are not occupied in such problems like other do. They are LGBT who have limited love, limited friends, limited responsibility, but very lovely people in the world. Who have to face different behaviour for the first time. But they are also able in many things, many of them love playing games, Playstation VR (i.e. For Honor, Ubisoft) They just have to keep in imagination about having kids. They can just feel the stomach of pregnant lady but cant be pregnant. They have to be discriminated by uncivilised people. It is difficult task for them to find the date. They have to face prejudice or violence and hate, still they struggle in the society to be alive. They are tagged as third sex. But they don’t have brothel like we so called heterosexual people have opened.

Dancing Rain

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Let’s write something new. Let’s not talk about Anu. Let’s not talk about any philosopher. Also not about Painter or writer. Or let’s not talk about family, friend, wife, husband or boss. Let’s talk about something different. Something different which we like. It is different and really stupid. Stupid topic, silly topic. To find such topic is not only different it is hard or easy or it might be  challenging. Zhang Hang was Chinese statesman poet and inventor, but he wrote nice lines which might be suitable or might not be. 

Ah, the chaste beauty of this alluring woman!
She shines with flowery charms and blooming face.
She is unique among all her contemporaries.
She is without a peer among her comrades.
– Zhang Heng

I don’t want to talk about him because I don’t want to touch about such love which brings excitement and rhapsody which I think in this world is impossible without building ourselves. Because I always feel none of us have understood that love is something immortal which is not like coal which we burn, or like the water, like the game which we never knew who will win, even not the pleasure, also not like the chemistry, which generate something new after mixing with other element (very common is H2 + O2 =H20; which is so common).I don’t want to answer the product of love. It is something which we should understand unknowingly, without expressing, without touching, without seeing like blind people do.

I even didn’t felt like talking about poet today because there are several poets who are so much onto in the words which will let us fall in their words. I am just the reader not among those who have quality that they have several way of reading poem and easily analyse preposition, adverb or verb they could judge it word by word.

“O Friend! we are near you in friendship,
Wherever you set foot, we prostrate ourselves like earth
How is it permissible, in the religion of love,
That we should see your Creation and neglect to see You? “

Sometime I find myself in these words, I find myself in the pain, I find myself everywhere, I see myself in the paintings of Pablo Picasso because I don’t exist nowhere. It means I have not understood the life closely, love closely death closely and myself closely. Hence the reason, I still love the world because I have nothing to gain, and nothing loose. The level of stupidity has gone so ultimate long time ago. For the four year I was in mad in love, whom I have never seen, actually we both have not seen each other. Certain image comes to the mind, calm, cool and lovely enough and live in the imagination world, and could touch the air, breeze of love, ray of sunshine, colours of rainbow is part of stupidity which we love to do. None can disturb our imagination. We can imagine Meera, either Roman girl of 15ht century, Even the world can’t find her name still have her statue and painting is in the museum of Greece.

Kazakhstani dog tried to save drunken boss to take him off from the train, pushing, pulling, nudging, dragging, barking he put his all effort to save his master but unfortunately he died stuck by the train. The world remembers the dog but not the master who brought him up. Here is no paradox of thrift it is the the truth of what dog did was to save the life of another creature. Sometime I feel because might of all these reason Buddha left the world because he is too tired with himself. He have nothing to do tomorrow, and being silly I ask to myself why can’t he search everything from his home being with his family? On the other hand Socrate is another example, who is happy to drink poison, just to prove himself. But he left the word and he even don’t know whether it is proved or not. 

It is all people’s hobby, interest to make life more important in different way we can. I feel similar to romantic love story movie, heroin leave the hero and hero have good words to her, like

“I am sharing my experience in abroad. It might be offensive because it’s your life, I am not your boyfriend anymore. Ask to your classmate about life in USA, it’s not the way you are thinking, abroad is different. Better you must just focus on your career, none of us take life so simply (not practically though), you can think your life for yourself not how other people or friends are living. Because you don’t know what is the truth inside them or in their family. So, you take yourself as a world, and make a plan what will you do after reaching USA. Don’t think that you will celebrate or will go to Niagara falls, Victoria park or any parks, clubbing, pic of cocktails. You will get all those things while you are walking with life. The day will come. Make a plan first off all and listen everyone, but don’t forget you know what you want and why you are there for. Many people talks shit and that makes you frustrated, you will get good job don’t rush to work in the fast food restaurant and Indian grocery . US is full of opportunity. Get the job with the qualification which you have. There are plenty agencies and online jobs are available. Apply there. Which city and college you are going? Is everything arranged? ask how much is the rent, deposit and other expenses too. Ask are you living with room-share or flat share because later their might be problem if you have sharing room. Try to get one single room for yourself. You have broken me, my life let’s not go on that, but don’t broke yourself. Be strong and try not to trust anyone, keep distance with everyone. Pay college fee first off all, so that you can focus more on your studies. Don’t think about how to settle in USA but think that you want to be qualified first because once you have a qualification the world will welcome you, I mean you can easily settle anywhere. I don’t know but if you are in relationship talk to both sides, don’t do paper marriage just to bring him in US cause later on you don’t know what will happen, it’s so short time to trust him. If not, if you think you can handle talk to mum and get married and than process for everything. Get all things which you can’t get in US cause most of the daily using accessories are so cheap you can buy there. No need to get food that may cause problem in the US airport unless and until it has a mark. But in US airport security checking is so strict so it’s better not to be greedy and take food. You can get everything in US. Don’t be too much excited and don’t be too much frustrated, take it as a normal, focus of your parents and off course your dream to be registered doctor. Don’t get me wrong.  To get angry is human being nature. I am one of them , anyone will be like this not only me if they were in my situation. Now you will know the life I am sharing what I have learnt. By the time goes you know everything about abroad make sure you don’t rush. Be calm. Take care of yourself. Don’t trust anyone, eat in time, good luck.”

And this one dialogue of hero will be so much emotional and many people feel their similar story of their life. The movie makes silver jubilee or this scene goes repeatedly touching to everyone mind because they can listen their own feelings in this. The scripture knows what are so simple words to choose so every class of viewers would understood what the dialogue tries to give message. On the other side the heroin flies abroad and be happy with another hero. Still the story goes on, she never misses him but he miss her most of the time that brings tear in audience eyes. Even the hero doesn’t know what would have really happened, the story takes another twist, that again make audience happy, generates ego, selfishness, and revenge. Writers are so sensetive who have the quality to enter in every readers mind. There are some writers like Rezso Seress committed suicide after writing ‘Gloomy Sunday” such a beautiful Hungarian suicide song during second world war. Many have committed suicide, BBC have banned this song, because many people committed suicide. Kimitake Hiraoka, a actor, playwright, prologue Japanese author, The author of “The Painted Bird” a highly controversial story  during second world war unfortunately even he himself committed suicide in bath tub plastic wrapped bag in his head, some feminist writer like Virginia Woolf body was found dead after 3 weeks, and there are many more, I am not a writer, to even imagine such heavy task which is even hard to accomplish while sleeping.

I have already omitted Anu from my writings. So one character of my blogs are forced to die. Sometime, I feel I have murdered my character from my life whom I used to feel so lively and could see anyone in the street and give the same name. I have never done anything for anyone may be hence the reason, it is so painful to commit crime than to sacrifice. I never love violence, and wont be in future. That’s why sometime I feel life is like music we can try but it depends we can learn and try to make the melodious tune or just make silly noise.

Format of Birthday

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Most of us celebrate our birthday. Our family member, friends and relatives are happy to be the part of it. We all celebrate either traditionally or family and friends gathering or any other way we feel like celebrating. It is actually day of celebration. Only difference is sometime there are no one around to celebrate and sometime there are many well-wisher around to share happiness. If our birthday is not shown in Facebook sometime there is none to wish even in electronic web.

Every parents are waiting to celebrate born day. Our birthday begins from 9 months even not a year. We celebrate our birthday while we are just nine month. Many mother have died during born day, many kids are orphan after born day, many husband are single from born day and many family have lost their sister, daughter, wife, mother, or say just female suffer from this born day. The hardest pain is born day because forceps delivery, breech presentation, episiotomy, or different stage of labor pain which lasts for 18 hour. Here, I am just talking about pain for the mother during pregnancy to give a life to the sperm.

Even after knowing this pain we are excited to welcome new creature. We don’t know whether it will be saint, singer or criminal. We have a lots of hope to see how it looks like we want to see the shape of our blood, though it is not developed properly. The developed mass of sperm. We are excited to hug it, kiss it, during pregnancy pushing stage period pillow is filled with tears, with dry mouth, anger, pain, hunger, excitement, hope and curiosity. But  birthday is waiting to celebrate in the door, all the family member are around, holding hand, legs, scissors, blade and blood has already covered it, the wound is still there, pain is there, flowers, cake, candle, champagne, food, clothes, cot, clock, phone call, FaceTime, video record for memo everything is there to ring the bell and cheer. We never celebrate so quick like the first born day we celebrate. May be because being used to in mother’s lap her excitement and love permitted to celebrate our birthday in nine months, otherwise it is not possible even if we try hard. Some year we celebrate our birthday one or two day in advance. To feel like everyday is born day, we have to listen be close to mothers heart. She only knows how to make their feel so happy and close to heart and make us feel everyday is born day. Sometime morning cup of tea served by mother makes us feel born day.

The first touch on the earth begins from the excitement, happiness and joy. It might be the reason we seek same kind of environment during our born day. Chilling out, hanging with friends, alcohol, food, friends together, clubbing or some ritual events are common during birthday. We easily accept it and none of us are mad or angry or disappointment in birthday celebration. This is the day we have collected lots of resolution or plans or beginning of new life. Many resolutions have been made during birthday. We all know whether we achieve those resolutions or not. In the young age this day is desperately waited, I am talking about 18 year old because after 18 they are allowed to stay out from the parents and have their own life like madman or in anyway they feel comfortable. This is the time many people have an awesome sensual and sexual life too. This is most awaited moment from long time. Even though we want, it is not possible as we are not matured enough. Collecting thoughts, feelings, excitement or lets say best part is imagination has made it more curious. So, birthday plays vital role even to make this dream comes true.

It is similar day like yesterday and today. But it has been a tradition we are desperately waiting for this day. We expect so much from this day with resolutions, new beginning, quitting habits, or proposing or beginning new anything. Which is all always inside us which are pending one by one and are piles of tasks to accomplish in our life. Off course, many are undone and is somewhere inside us. Sadly after all those pending resolutions and commitment we wont be disappointed because it is self “poor commitment”, none to blame, notice or mark it; even can’t blame self we are used to with our own behaviour, habits and thoughts. We are always correct. Other side of coin is always different but we have never realised that, nothing is similar apart from the metal used in the coin. It means there are nothing in similar – thoughts and vision which are hidden within us, let us try to seek, feel or accept than we will be a complete coin. If time toss our life both side of the coin belongs to us and we don’t have to seek any new coin or pray for god to turn the side which we wish. I wonder sometime if god is busy in celebrating birthday he wont listen our wish and there wont be anyone to sing lullaby.

The Word – Patience

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Dear Caty,

It’s been a short period, but we were happy to be honest with each other. There are many different words and lines which sounds so realistic and touching, that could attract anyone in this world. Those moments were precious because we hardly meet people who have patience to listen other, and accept if it as a result it will generate trust between each other. There are various ways to win the trust. There are many stories among us, some people try to commit suicide just to gain trust, exchanging gifts, even designation or power/position (i.e., I am Doctor, nurse, consultant, waiter, dish washer, working in big company, dad is rich, updated vehicles, ornaments, education or even being in abroad and so on) there are various ways we use to gain trust. As in my previous blog I have mentioned story of Chinese couple and writer of Harry Porter J. K. Rowling, Oprah Winfrey, Colonel Harland Sanders (founder of KFC), Katy Perry’s show was cancelled for 7  times each year, finally after 7 year her solo album “I kissed a girl” was top position in UK, Australia, USA, Canada and other countries. But there are many other celebrities they have bitter truth of their own life. One recent example is our Ex. Chief of Army Rukmangad Katuwal, famous socio-comedian actor Hari Bansha Acharya, social activist Jagadhis Kharel, we can’t forget Laxmi Pd. Devkota, Parijat they were never understood, because they were too simple for the society. Most important we never learned to differentiate the truth, or the lesson or reason behind everything, we never try to respect what is fact in front of us. We judge. We categorise. We hate. We like. We dislike. As if we are non-living beings. It is not our fault, the day we will have respect for the nature we will understand very simple things which could make us understand the truth and path of success. Even those personality have done nice difficult struggle, we hardly hear any negative news of such people who have struggled in their life because they have learned patience to digest; even the worst situation. None of the publisher, investor, or even they had struggled to get one TAKE, single chance to prove, to perform, not even single chance was given because they are honest and they knew the world is waiting for their activity to bring some change in society.  One take, an opportunity could change their life but none of them trust them, after struggling for many years keeping their hope alive; today many famous personalities  series or shows or company chain is world wide.

Salt, Anger and Hope.

The teacher can understand how 30 students in class take same answer in 30 different ways and how they interprets or use in their personal life. I am one of the example, I was the last bencher of the class so that I don’t have to do homework, I was the one to fail in each terminal exam, I was the one who do not have big so called degree. Because I never understood what “Sin”, “Cos” and “Tan” (these are main function used on trigonometry) means. I even do not bother to approach it because our teacher used to say “we have to complete this before first term examination, or board examination” I understood he is just focused in himself than focusing on me, or support me to learn, he is not bothered about my homework, so I don’t have to worry about homework, I was so happy from inside. Hence the reason, I am uneducated. But today I have realised what teacher meant for us. It’s off course late, but never late for my coming days to begin. Definitely I can begin it anytime. Its our level of understanding, ways of manipulating things. It’s late but I have realised that I should have trusted my teacher and followed, so that I could have helped myself to understand course book. I can’t get that moment back also I will never repeat such mistake again. Indeed I have practiced to gain patience either to tackle with my friend or foe.

I try my level best to write as simple as I can because I want my parents could understand my each post which contains in my blog because I want them to understand in similar way I am familiar among the society, friends or workplace. How is their child? How much is he matured apart from lipstick or growing mustache in chin? In a sense they should be aware about our activity so they should not have to listen from other people. Let me clear it, my first reader of my publication is my parents. It is so simple because they deserve it.

Let’s go for another scenario; if we are talking with friends we want to do facetime, we will force them and while talking with parents we randomly ask them to turn the camera on or even we daily communicate to our parents. Do we similarly say “Good morning Mum” “Morning dad” “how are you looking today?” in similar way we daily communicate to our friend circle, I will leave it to you to find out. Let’s try for a week, and see the smile in their face. Let’s try to say similar words of love to parents; wish “Good night mom, love you muhaa”, “Mom, what you upto? Why you didn’t replied my msg? Why was you offline?” It’s my humble request to think for a while. How many times a day we do this to our parents? And this is the first step to throw our ego which is inside us and that is always pushing us backwards. It sounds different, because we don’t want to try, we are even not ready to thank our mum or dad, thanks for nice meal, I have enjoyed it, thanks for the tea! Don’t analyse this lines, reverse it and ask yourself. How many times we have thanked our parents? But I have seen we in every step thank or beg a pardon to our colic, in the street, stranger. Unfortunately, vary rarely to our parents. I am more than happy if you are doing so. I want everyone to follow and spread at least they will have smile in their lips. If it stop us than off course there is ego in our lips, eyes, in our sensation.

We hardly trust, we gradually grow trust and sometime we have to learn to trust, we say “I am happy… how I am and you have accepted as am I and learning to trust ….main thing”. If there was trust between even same blood there wouldn’t be Mahabharat Epic, there wouldn’t be war in Ramayan, even it is bloodshed in many countries. I want to remember blog which I have written last year “Blood of Daughter” that was the real story, – because of our ego dad brought her daughter back even though she got married with her own decision but against parents. We are cruel and opportunist human beings. A loaf of bread in plate is enough for dinner. Sharing half of it would be enough for whole family. But we have a big expectation as a result we forget that that big expectation comes with “Big Expectation return” too.

While we understand the secret of success is Patience, that will help us to give 100%. It will give us enough time to think, enough time to recover, enough time to edit, enough time for correction, enough time to be strong. But we have in tongue:

“with every action theres an equal opposite reaction, with every problem theres a solution just a matter of taking action”

― Albert Einstein

In my understanding this sentence doesn’t meant us to react exactly in a same way action happened. It clearly says action and opposite, here the word opposite clearly states what it meant. But we want everything promptly / immediately, even do not have patience until tomorrow, think it for a while, take it easy  or taking action but not immediate reaction. We understand the way we want to understand. We act like we understand but we never thought that there is no need to understand other, it’s just the matter of washing ego which is within/inside us. As a conclusion what you will feel is – “kati simple ani deep maya” for all creature in the world. Because I have learnt to be patience from you all.

Respect all,


Sunrise in Abroad

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Dear abroad dreamers,

I appreciate your career decision plan for coming abroad. Many people seem so happy staying in abroad. Some people who are in abroad are happy too. 

There are many more story of success who choose to stay in Nepal. Coming in abroad is not only the way to be successful or achieve our dream. In a month time everyone’s dream will be shattered. But some of us have a image in our mind which none can change. After having everything still we love to come abroad. 

It’s better to read the story of success about those friends are back home in Nepal. 

Related stories of friends who choose to stay in Nepal:

She was story writer, now she is good Novelist. She has won many awards by the time I left Nepal. 

He used to be a journalist, now he is good program coordinator, and program host. 

Another friend used to be a social worker in remote area, and was working for sustainability. He changed his career plan now he is reputed/busy constructor also have earned good money. 

She used to write a critics, now she is journalist in the international magazine. 

Younger friend Sameer  had got interest in commodity market, now he is doing good in commodity and share market. 

One year junior friend of same university have a interest in travelling, he have his own travel and tours agency with 15-20 employees. Each he travel 2-3 different countries. He is happy with his business.

Now a days from social sites i.e. facebook, twitter, snapchat or other, we can see daily activity of everyone who are in abroad. We actually sell ourself from social site, we should be good in selling our activities, and centre attraction, so that it will prove our joy and our life in abroad. Life in abroad seems so popular from last 5-7 year. Many of were unknown or we  have very few information regarding abroad lifestyle, processing and education system. We were brainwashed if we study in abroad our future will be secured and better and education in abroad helps us to get the job we wanted. 

In these days anyone can come abroad cause communication made us so easier to gather information.The concept of abroad has changed now. Our friends or relatives are around the world. Social sites has been helping a lot to communicate and get the information we want to know. 

In abroad the best thing is here we can get liberty which we were not getting in Nepal or most of the Asian countries. Here liberty includes everything- it depends how far you want to go and live. Here in abroad you are master and slave of your own life. It’s up to you, either you want to live similar life or life you dreamt to live. 

The hot topic is always about Nepal. Almost everyone talks about Nepal, After living in abroad for few year anyone is patriots. Most of the people in abroad talk about Nepal. There is lot of love and respect for Nepal. Many people who come in abroad can see what’s missing? Why is not Nepal growing as like other developed countries though we have resources? But that remains in the conversation. Very few people want to go back and do accordingly. Most of them have regretted too because we expect other citizens to think as we do, which is really very hard. 

In other words we don’t have any responsibility nearby. Daily routine, wake up, work, break, be online, rest, and again back to work. More or less work to home and laptop is the daily routine. University or college days are during day off and hangout with friends in the evening. 

Many people who come to abroad for further education have continued their education and achieved what they have to achieve. They do not rely on fast food restaurant chain, or stores jobs. They work in the same field according to their ability, qualification and capacity. Many of them are happy to work just for the money. Majority of people work in fast food restaurant chain or in the stores. We get respect for any job we do in abroad. We hardly can spend time with our roommate as working shift and workplace is different. In the festival, usually its after 11 o’clock or midnight after finishing work everyone comes back from the work and celebrate together. Even here in photos the festival looks great. We hardly share our workplace photos unless and until it looks good or happy. In abroad the best side is everyone forget what they were in back home, here is no designation, power or prestige at all. At the end of the day everyone is back for the money.